10 Things You Do That Make You a Facebook Jackass

I guess while I am in the middle of my most recent brain dump and writing post after to post during just about every hour of the day I find myself wanting to poke fun at Facebook people again. As I juggle through my phone answering emails and doing day to day business I can’t help but notice more and more annoying things appearing on my Facebook wall daily. Of course these things have finally irritated me enough to write a post about it.

Facebook Fun

10 Things You Do That Make You a Facebook Jackass

  1. Bad mouth your partner in status updates because of a spat your having.
  2. Constantly confess your unmatched love for your partner… So pathetic….
  3. You tag people in those stupid calendar things hoping to generate comments.
  4. You troll looking for things to comment on that have nothing to do with you.
  5. Your status updates take up more then 25% of my wall or anyone else’s wall for that matter.
  6. You constantly share with the world how fucking great your life is.
  7. You brag about your workout that you’ve been doing for all of three days… five times a day.
  8. You write weird sayings hoping they will captivate someone’s heart. PUKE.
  9. Your constantly crying the “wo-is-me” routine.
  10. Everything you write is in CAPS or some language no one understands.

Everyone and anyone that uses Facebook on a regular basis can probably add a list of 5-10 things that they can’t stand about Facebook or the things that their friends or family members might do on Facebook. Take a quick second and leave a comment with something you would like to add to the list of things that make people Facebook jackass’s, or comment on one of the things listed above.

P.s. Dawn really killed it with the images for this post, thanks Dawn!

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Great list but you FORGOT the # 1 and #2 Facebook Peeves.
1. You are not a memeber of the MAFIA because you play an online game.
2. You are not a FARMER because you have an online farm.
Spend a little more time with your family or friends
and stop ferilizing fake plants and collecting
fake animals for your fake farm.
.-= SafariDave´s last blog ..Molly, Pet of the Month =-.

@sangalicious1, Sang, wheres you been man? Please don’t send me another huggy bear on facebook,jk. UFC 112, be there. Did you facebook your new son, Betta Blue?
.-= SafariDave´s last blog ..Molly, Pet of the Month =-.

@SafariDave, Hi, i agree with you. people are really making facebook Jacks ass. i often get irritated with 1000s of invitation to MAFIA and FARMER that too multiple times. :(

Funny shit man… let’s add the grown men sending me Hugs and Teddy bears and Farm Animals..lol

When did this become cool to do to another grown man? lol

Oh and the mom that posts a bazillion pics of her kid, like every damn hour.. OK OK We know what he looks like eating, enough allready..lol
.-= John Paul@Make Money With A Blog´s last blog ..Google Says – A Strong Twitter Community Will Get Your Tweets Ranked On First Page =-.

@John Paul@Make Money With A Blog, ditto ditto
Totally agree about the thousand kids pics a day and telling us when you made him a P,B & J Sandwich.
.-= SafariDave´s last blog ..Molly, Pet of the Month =-.

@John Paul@Make Money With A Blog, I’ve had this happen before and I hear you. The best was a little bear that said “lets share secrets.” WTF?

lol yea man that shit is funny.

You got it right. I see this crap a lot and see a lot of others complaining about these types of users. I finally had to block these types of comments and request. :mrgreen:
.-= element321´s last blog ..Blogging Tips, DoFollow Debate, and Web Design Tips Weekly Round Up April 05, 2009 =-.

@element321, it’s a nice little feature now that’s for sure.

Those are some awesome images!
.-= Mike @DailyShotOfCoffee´s last blog ..Kahve Koffee Venezia Review =-.

I find that people who spend the entire day on Facebook reading other peoples lives, don’t really have much going on in their own. If they are happy though, go for it. I’m all for people doing what makes them happy. I do get annoyed when people say, “I poked you and didn’t get anything back.” Oh, that’s because you poked me 5 minutes ago and Facebook isn’t on my mind all day. Having said that, mobile phone marketing is going to take off this year. I highly recommend anyone who has a business to try it out. I just signed my business up and actually getting involved with the mobile phone marketing company because I love it so much. I just signed up a tanning salon yesterday.

@Anthony @ Bounce House Rental, My sister-in-law was visiting at my home last week and she sat at the computer and poked a friend back and forth at least 15 times over a 10 minute period. I swear it true, she was doing nothing else on the computer except waiting for the poke back, so she could poke back. Get A Life FaceBook extremists.
.-= SafariDave´s last blog ..Molly, Pet of the Month =-.

@SafariDave, Yeah that’s ridiculous. I know a lot of people who do that. The best is when you log on and someone messages you in .00001 seconds asking, “did you get my invite? What about my poke, did you get my bumper sticker too.” No I didn’t because I canceled my account, bye.

@SafariDave, wow… I can safely say that I don’t think I have ever poked anyone on Facebook before. Haha as funny as that just sounded…

To me, FaceBook is a complete annoyance, what was once a bit of fun has turned in to a digital slagging match combined with a love fest of people been poked, while visiting farmville to try and raise goats to tag someone you’ve never met…… Ooo I feel better now 😆
.-= Karen @ Blazing Minds´s last blog ..How To Unfollow Twitters with No Picture on Twitter The Easy Way =-.

@Karen @ Blazing Minds, nice wrap of all things I can’t stand on Facebook. It’s the new way though, everyone just play games and have fun. Screw everything else.

@Extreme John, Think I’ll stick with Twitter 😉
.-= Karen @ Blazing Minds´s last blog ..How To Vet Your Twitter Followers =-.

Hey I just improved your bounce rate :)
Man love when my neighbor calls me to fire up the DRO
I hate FB well not hate but think the people on there are useless and
since most people are on there basically what I’m saying is..
LOL :)
Ok I have post to write before it wears off have a nice weekend
PS Yes I fill everyone’s status up because I don’t care LOL 😛
.-= John Sullivan@The Blogger who cries :)´s last blog ..Link selling Google and Hypocrisy =-.

@John Sullivan@The Blogger who cries :), thanks bro have a great weekend and appreciate the Bounce Rate increase.

Don’t send me a drink if I can’t really drink it!
.-= Matt@Atlanta Georgia Real Estate´s last blog ..The Perfect Storm for Home-Buyers =-.

@Matt@Atlanta Georgia Real Estate, Now if it was a proper drink, I don’t think we would mind 😉
.-= Karen @ Blazing Minds´s last blog ..Why adding videos to your post for effect is GOOD =-.

Don’t like this one.
People who use their kids photos instead of their own photo. At least use I photo that includes you.

@Dave@Slow Computer, yeah that’s another great one, it’s like playing guess the parent.

I hate the status updates “if you love your mom, kid, dog, etc. repost this as your status”. I love my mother and don’t need a status update to prove it!

@nicki, yeah like it needs to be proven on a Facebook wall to be legit.

You guys summed it up pretty well, don’t think I need to add anymore.

@Jon@Home Movers, Come on Jon, you have to have something to add to the list.
.-= SafariDave´s last blog ..Molly, Pet of the Month =-.

@Jon@Home Movers, give it a shot. Facebook is a big place, it’s easy to get annoyed there.

Self taken profile pix grind me. Camera in one hand, trying to snap a sexy, seductive look…and you know they’re in the bathroom cause the toilet is in the background. And the look on some of their faces makes me wonder what they’re doing with the free hand? Geez, with 500 facebooks friends you would think they could find someone to take the picture.
Red Dog, out…

@Red Dog, with the stupid kissy lips is an automatic piss me off for me. Thanks for taking the time to leave a comment I appreciate it.

I am in the 1% of people who does not have a personal face book page. Now my wife is a different story. She is one of these people who will post the stupidest crap. Anytime my name pops up on her status updates all my buddies will post the most crude crap you can imagine. I finally put a stop to it. The only cool thing is that we get to see just how screwed up everyone else is.
.-= Alan@ blu-ray player reviews´s last blog ..The Sony BDP-N460 Blu-ray Disc Player Is Packed With Extras Without The Extra Cost! =-.

Great list John…nailed it really on the head. This could be also a list for a Twitter Jack ass :)
.-= ZXT´s last blog ..Why people blog? =-.

I agree with the “You tag people in those stupid calendar things hoping to generate comments.” I am also very tired of that Farm Ville thing. Get a life.

Absolutely so true. I love this one…”You constantly share with the world how fucking great your life is.” hahaha..I hate when people post stuff like that when seriously no one cares.

What I hate most about Facebook is the updates I’m receiving in various games such as Farmville, Mafia Wars, etc. since I am not playing any of those games. I hope that Facebook will do something to filter wall posts to exclude those updates.
.-= Millionaire Acts´s last blog ..Lead Generation: Marketing Your Products and Services =-.

@Millionaire Acts,

You can always hide the updates you don’t want like for games or apps. You can even hide an update from a person/user.
.-= ZXT´s last blog ..What’s Hot on YouTube =-.

I used to just leave those un-interesting invites to do something like Farmville, Mafia wars, etc. in the invites bar because I thought I would offend the senders if I press the Ignore button. Now, I don’t care. The number of invites have grown stupidly numerous. Now, I just press ‘Ignore’ without even looking at who’s sending it. :)
.-= James Moralde´s last blog ..Cassette Tape Player: Have One? =-.

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Can you say that again Mr. Job?
.-= ZXT´s last blog ..SEO Tool Review =-.

How about updates that do not make sense. They are not written in complete sentences and no one has a clue what they are supposed to mean.
.-= Ned Carey´s last blog ..Purple Cow =-.

the funny thing here is jackass image itself lol
.-= henri´s last blog ..Funny Advertisements : 200+ Funny Print Ads =-.

Great post, and hilarious to add. But you forgot #1…

Idiots posting their videos and linking YOU to them. It makes it look like these are YOUR videos, but instead they are some stupid ass MLMer trying to spam their own videos. Pathetic!

Watch who you accept as your Facebook friend. LOL
.-= Jeff D.´s last undefined ..If you register your site for free at =-.

@Jeff D.,
Jeff I was going to add that but I didn’t want to give anyone ideas that didn’t already know that trick.
.-= Ned Carey´s last blog ..Purple Cow =-.

@Jeff D.,

Yeah and how about those selling items and things and tagged you in those photos. I really hate those people.

I hate the CAPS one, I see it a LOT in Facebook.

Hi John, great article and great list. U have humor 😛 Keep up the good work

People who invite me to play Farmville or take quizzes are annoying to me. Also when I look on my feed and see nothing but Farmville stuff I just think what a waste this is.

Great humor.It’s funny John.

Keep up the good work.I’d love to see more of these.

Happy you found it funny Angie. Thanks for commenting.

I am an extreme Facebook fanatic. I use it for about 2-3 hours a day just to views pic & status updates of my more than a hundred friends. And I love commenting on pics & happenings on my friends account. I constantly ask new friends I meet offline if they have FB so I can tag them. Absolutely love it!

I hate it when people don’t use their photos either and just use photos of their kids or their pets. It’s my right to go on facebook and see if you have gained 80 lbs since high school.

Haha Harry, especially if you acted like a hot ass back in the day.

THANK YOU!!!! I MEAN, thank you. and thank god for the “hide” feature.

One of my favorite features of all time.

I loved this article.

Debating making a FB page for our business?
Can be great for seo purposes but I’m not much of a person to sit and FB with my spare time.

Nice blog!

Being the social media person that I am its safe to say that Im always going to say to claim your Facebook Page.

Yes you are right. I have also too many request from my friends for Mafia and something like that.

John, I know this is an older post but I just noticed the title and felt compelled to read it. You’ve hit this dead on – all of these Facebook antics are some of my pet peeves as well. I also can’t stand it when FB friends update their statuses every hour. I’d say one or two statuses a day MAXIMUM…I mean, who cares about what people ate for breakfast or what they’re watching on TV at that moment?

Oh, and the Facebook/jackass picture is awesome!

Haha thank you Jill and thanks fort stopping by and taking the time to leave a great comment. That’s hard to find these days :)

There definately should be a maximum update … I’ve thought of this before tooo.

Haha, some people can get bananas that’s for sure.

Hey John,

great list and very true so many people I know that use facebook must do at least 5 of these things if not more. Facebook has become a place where almost everyone wants to either get some attention or brag about their life or just depress you.

love the facebook jackass image – lol

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