8 Reasons Your Employees Don’t Respect You

by Extreme John on March 4, 2010

Business Tips

I really haven’t decided if I like numbered list posts or if I am just totally getting sick of them, when I first think of doing a list post my first thought is that it will be a really quick and simple post to knock out. The more I write list posts the more I am starting to think that my thought process is a little skewed, I think they take longer in most cases and they demand a lot of extra work.

One of the things I enjoyed doing most while I was employed with Home Depot was training new managers and watching new managers grow through the training they received, regardless if it were team building skills or people skills. One of the things I learned even as I grew in my positions with Home Depot was just how important it is to gain the respect of your associates if you want them to perform for you.

Sure, I know that you think that scaring your associates and threatening them will help them to grow and perform for you, but the reality is that it will only increase your turnover and make your team building efforts futile.

Small Business Owner Tips

8 Reasons Your Employees Don’t Respect You

1. You Don’t Actively Listen

Instead of being the only one in a conversation take 3 seconds to listen to what your associate is saying to you, than repeat what your associate said to you back to them. This will help you gain respect because you listen and it will also help you to help your associates by providing the right feedback for that discussion instead of blabbing things out or cutting the other person off. You hate that don’t you? So does everyone else.

2. You Demand, You Don’t Ask

You can stomp your feet and make all the little threats you want to, it’s not going to gain you any respect in the long run. Try asking before demanding things from your team, you would be amazed how much more of a team you will have in the long run.

3. Poor Delegation Skills

Every effective manager needs to Do it, Delegate it or Dump it in my opinion, having poor delegation skills that lack direction and detail will get you misguided and poor results each and every time.

4. Poor Follow Up Skills

Sure your awesome at running around delegating 95% of your work load to your associates, an excellent manager should delegate as much as possible. However, if you don’t follow up on all of those work lists you will quickly find that no one takes your list or delegated tasks serious. If your team doesn’t take your delegated tasks seriously you might as well not bother wasting your time delegating in the first place.

5. You Don’t Respect Them

Bashing, back stabbing, degrading, yelling, or correcting your team members in front of others is a great way to let your team know that you don’t have any respect for them. The list of ways you can disrespect your team members is pretty big, to get a grasp of the things that they might find somewhat disrespectful, stand in front of a mirror and ask yourself if you would respect your own actions.

6. Failure to Lead by Example

“Do as I say and not as I do” works great with kids, that is until they reach the ripe old age of about five. If the example you set sucks it won’t take long before your team members notice it, and it will take them even less time to decide on the fact that your a clown. Your associates and team members are not kids ages 1-5, set an example that makes you feel good about your daily accomplishments and that leads your team in the right direction if you want any respect at all.

7. Failure to Educate

If you ASSume that your team members know everything that you know and you fail to teach them in all areas of the business that can assist them in doing a better job, your blowing it. People only know what they know, it sounds simple but it’s true and your assuming that they know everything they need to know is a failure to educate. Failing to educate your associates only makes their job more difficult in the long run, take the time to teach every team member you come in contact with something EVERY TIME YOU SEE THEM. It’s really a great habit to get into, not to mention it only breeds positive results.

8. Poor Counseling Skills

In life no one is perfect, business is no different. There will come a time as a manager that your going to be forced to counsel your associates, when that time comes consider these 9 Tips to Proper Employee Counseling. Employee counseling sessions should be used as a tool to correct a behavior through training, it’s not a tool to make an employee feel like a failure. If your counseling skills aren’t up to par your going to have a tough time picking up respect points.

I think it’s extremely important for every manager to realize and understand that no associate that starts a new job is excited about how crappy they will do or how much they will under-perform, most people starting a new job are excited. If your hiring process is right and your management staff is working to gain respect of fellow associates you will have a much lower turnover rate, turnover costs small business and large business’s big money. I challenge you as a manager to remember how excited people are to start a new job or new position, harness that excitement and earn the respect of your staff.

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{ 44 comments… read them below or add one }

The Entrepreneur Diva with a Business Attitude

Very good post. I know a lot of employers that could learn a thing or two from this.

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Extreme John
Twitter:

@The Entrepreneur Diva with a Business Attitude, thank you for taking the time to leave a comment. I can only imagine.

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Anne Moss

You summed it up pretty well. Anything else I can think of would actually fit under one of these 8. I’m just glad I no longer have “subordinates” – although I think I was a pretty good “manager”. We used to have these social tests once a year and people would also give anonymous grades and feedback to their superiors. I used to come first in our department with those – so I guess I did ok with those serving under me.
.-= Anne Moss´s last blog ..February 2010 Post Roundup =-.

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Anthony

Did you read the E-Myth yet? Also, I always find people that have a passion in life. I don’t care what it is as long as they have a passion. If they don’t, I don’t want them working for me. I would say this goes under the listening point you made. Help your employee work towards his passion and you will have A LOT more respect. Plus, it’s the right thing to do.

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Karen
Twitter:

All my employees respect me, oh hang on I work for myself!!! Do I respect myself, hell yeah :lol: :lol:
.-= Karen @ Blazing Minds´s last blog ..Blazing Minds Interviews Blogger Brad Reason =-.

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Keith

It takes a certain breed to be a good manager. I managed for 5yrs, and then ventured on my own for the last 5 yrs. Currently I am the only employee I have to manage, but I can bee a real a$$ sometimes :-)
.-= Keith@ Blog Tips´s last blog ..Bloggers That Influence Me =-.

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Anne

I was very big on leading by example. I also believe everyone is important. It takes everyone to make an organization run smoothly.

Also, I have found the managers who lack respect and are not trustworthy are those who fear someone is after their job. They put themselves before the business at hand and that is never good.
.-= Anne´s last blog ..Selfless or Selfish? =-.

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Marko

Excellent list John. I should point a few people to read it. Respect, in my opinion, is one of the more important points on this list.
.-= Marko´s last blog ..How Do You Start Your Day? =-.

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Suhasini

Some really nice points jotted by you and they are actually real . great post John.

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John Sullivan
Twitter:

Talk is cheap I think Listening is KEY :)
People can be pretty whacky these days glad I don’t have to deal with all that on a daily basis. Lucky your not in the nightclub business that was a Trip

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Rohit Sane
Twitter:

Respecting your employees is the key, it is also important to consider their opinions when it is helpful for the company rather than just being stubborn to your point!
.-= Rohit Sane@Tech Stuff´s last blog ..LG Cookie pep: The Complete Review =-.

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Extreme John
Twitter:

@Rohit Sane@Tech Stuff, so very true.

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Bojan

I agree with you regarding these things but I have to say that sometimes it all depends on the company because I’ve heard of many companies where they do not pay any attention to you nor do they care on what you do during your work so why in the world should I pay attention to them and pay them respect ?

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ZXT
Twitter:

I’d say most of these are some of the characteristics of some supervisors at work.
.-= ZXT´s last blog ..Earthquake Zone =-.

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Ben
Twitter:

Sounds like a lot of people I’ve come across, although is success > respect… potentially.
.-= Ben´s last blog ..Top 10 Town Planning Fails =-.

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Kevin

Great post. All of the points you make seem to have the fact in common that bad managers don’t interact properly with employees but simply broadcast toward them.

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steve

hi John,
You hit the name on the head with this one, “6. Failure to Lead by Example.”
I need to correct you on it though… you said you can get away with “do what I say, not what I do” with kids up to age 5. I’ve got two kids, and it never worked with them at any age. :D
If you don’t walk the walk, don’t talk the talk.
Steve
.-= steve´s last blog ..Trade Show Outboarding =-.

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Eric

Hey John,

This sounds a lot like ways of also dealing with roommates in a way. I live with two right now and will be moving this week so that shouldn’t be much of a problem anymore.

I’m not saying I also haven’t been the cause of some issues in the apartment but again, I’m one of the roommates so it all goes hand-in-hand.
.-= Eric´s last blog ..Build Your Blog With Fire In Mind =-.

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Keith

As always, right on the money, John.

The bit about training is so correct. If you don’t train or have them trained, you will have nothing but problems with all but the best of them.

Your best job is to train someone who could replace you/ Then you can move up the ladder.

Always remember that the buck stops here.
.-= Keith@Norman Rockwell Art´s last blog ..Mar 4, Norman Rockwell Lamps =-.

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Extreme John
Twitter:

@Keith@Norman Rockwell Art, haha I have been saying that very same thing for years, train someone to replace you… to this very day people still look at me like I am out of my mind when I say that. So missing the point.

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Peyton Farquhar

Cogent advice here. Respect is not handed out like Halloween candy, and, you sure as hell aren’t going to get it simply because you whine, cry, stomp your feet & threaten employees. They will simply quit and then bad mouth you and the company on any consumer product-oriented website they can find. It’s a two-way street and if more “leaders” took your advice, the workplace would be a whole lot less problematic.

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Extreme John
Twitter:

@Peyton Farquhar, I agree and it’s well said when it comes from someone with solid core values, now on the flip side it’s amazing how many associates miss the point when they have someone offering amazing advice and they still make crazy decisions. I love business, haha.

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Patent Bar Exam

Thanks for the helpful tips — too often our employees go unnoticed, especially the newest ones, and yet they are the easiest to influence. Have you considered expanding the list with more tips?

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Sire
Twitter:

All good points John, but as an employer I find that although you do all the right things by them they don’t always do the right thing by you.
.-= Sire´s last blog ..Quick Update On People Search Money Opportunity =-.

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Extreme John
Twitter:

@Sire, sad but true.

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Sire
Twitter:

@Extreme John, Why is that John? Why do some of them not realize that if they do their job properly and the right thing by the boss, not only will their job be more secure but they will get more out of it.

The last couple of years I’ve cut back on bonuses because I didn’t feel they deserved it.
.-= Sire´s last blog ..About Money And Blogs updated Mon Mar 1 2010 11:48 pm CST =-.

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Shubham

That’s very true..Well I haven’t worked under anyone neither anyone had worked under me, but seen people often doing things like that…Its just faliure …no good.. :mrgreen: :mrgreen:
.-= Shubham@Techcrank´s last blog ..20+ Color Tool For Web Designers/Webmasters and CSS Geeks =-.

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Frank

All of these are great points. Failure to educate and lead by example are the highest problems in my opinion.

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Extreme John
Twitter:

@Frank@Web Design, I would agree Frank those are key factors that take the right person to pull them off, not pulling them off usually ends in a fail.

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Dick

All good stuff here John, where I always got in trouble as a manager was in thinking and acting as if I were still one of the “boys” instead of acting like a manager.
.-= Dick´s last blog ..Google Apps =-.

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Extreme John
Twitter:

@Dick, such a fine line that can be and so many good managers learn that lesson the hard way. Very few I have come across in the past can pull it off and pull it off for any extended period of time, great one Dick.

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Steroids UK

I’ve never had a boss I liked but thanks to the net there are far more options for self employemnt.
.-= Steroids UK´s last blog ..Thai Testoviron. =-.

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Joe

I definitely need to listen to and educate my employees more. Hopefully then they will respect me more. Thanks for the advice!
.-= Joe´s last blog ..Green Lawns =-.

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san diego seo

Not setting up clear goals and expectations is one that I’ve experienced frustration on at both ends. Employees want their supervisors to be organized, have a plan, communicate not only the plan but their role in that plan and if you don’t have this, then employees become frustrated and disrespectful (inwardly or outwardly).

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John

I agree with the poster above. Not setting goals in any form of business is very frustrating as nobody knows what defines success.

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Web Developer

These are some really good tips. I got management thrust upon me at the age of 25 and given a team of 15 people to work with, many of whom were older than me. It was a steep learning curve but in retrospect I think I was actually too nice to them and tried to be friends rather than their boss. Now I maintain a strict boss/employee relationship which I find you need in India.

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KyAus

I have always been one of the worker drones that things were given me to do. One thing that I hated was that the managers literally did nothing. The employees did a lot more than what their pay grade suggested. We were running registers, cleaning, dealing with customers, and counting the money at the end of the day. Most of the time, the supervisors and managers were chatting amongst themselves or with us.
I know it is one of the benefits of getting higher in the company to have to be a worker drone, but you would gain some respect from your employees if you helped them out from time to time. Constantly delegating and following up on tasks can on employees can really affect their morale
KyAus recently posted…Webmasters Dont Get ScammedMy Profile

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Gants webdeveloper

good post john, i really enjoyed reading your articles, this is quite interesting about the employer to have a note about all these points to follow it to get their employee’s respect. looking for more updates, interesting, comments are also very interesting to read. keep up the good work john.

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Nej

Great list! You summed up all the important points. I also totally agree that respecting your employees is the key. And it’s also good if you’ll observe and know more about your employee’s personality (how they behave, deal with others at work). In that way, you’ll be able to know the right and effective approach for each.
Nej recently posted…Junior Marketing WriterMy Profile

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Extreme John
Twitter:

Great points Nej. Point is true, the more you know the more you’re worth.

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Bob

Wow these pointers are so so true! You have hit the nail on the head with this blog! Very good read, thanks for sharing!!

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Ryan

There is nothing like a boss that expects you to start early and then reprimands you in front of co-workers for not working until the exact moment the bell rings. Humiliation in front of co-workers is by far the WORST! Give respect and you shall receive respect….

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Extreme John
Twitter:

Thank you for taking the time to read and comment, I appreciate it.

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Tina

Great tips – I must admit I was failing some of them when in my previous life (i.e. before becoming a full time freelancer) and the results were obvious. But it depends a lot on what kind of people you are working with – some are just mean and they never appreciate a good manager – I am not saying I was a good manager and my subordinates were crap but one of my predecessors, who was really a pleasure to work with and a real pro, had even less success with the so called ‘team’ (or a gang of losers :)))) than me. These people were simply not used to being treated nice – they take it as a sign of weakness and abuse it freely.

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