Before everyone gets all hell bent, by junk I mean the Fast Food. For the ending part of 2008 I was on fire with my Fast Food addiction, couldn’t really care less if it made me plump up or not. There’s all kinds of addictions and mine for a little bit was enjoying some fast food, no biggie really except for the fact that I decided I needed to stop eating that shit as Im sure it was killing me nice and slow.

Yes McDonalds French Fries Kick Ass

This isn’t some huge New Years Resolution nore is it something I plan on lasting very long, Im a creature of habbit.. It’s much easier and faster for me to fly through a Burger King Drive thru to get a Bacon, Egg and Cheese Biscuit Combo with a Medium Coke than it is for me to bust out a frying pan and poor some egg white shit in their and cook it up, than sit and eat it… All of this while I could already be almost to the office. Trust me if I had a personal Chef I would have a fresh Egg white omelet every day, or at least a home cooked Bacon, Egg and Cheese Biscuit as opposed to one whipped up at Burger King.

For now I will miss either a Big Mac with some fries or a Chicken Sandwich combo from Burger King and I will trade it in for other forms of fast Food like Crispers, and other boring ass food places. Not really sure what the personal goal is with this one but I figured it would give me something else to do and focus on. It’s been an amazing week since Ive been off of the Fast Food Junk and all is good, all though I wouldn’t mind getting some kind of breakfast sanswich tomorrow morning. So for those of you still eatin it, do me a favor and have an extra something for me.

Yeah I said it and rightfully so, I just got done watching a funny ass video and instantly knew I had to post it. Ok to be honest I know I’m behind on this one but I don’t really give a shit, I think the video is hysterical and it’s almost as hysterical as the first time I read “I don’t go to your job and knock the dicks out of your mouth.” Sorry but that’s some funny shit and it’s exactly what Kathy Griffin spewed out of her face during the CNN New Years Eve thing…. that pretty much no one watches anyway.

Seems Kathy was being heckled by some dildo in the crowd and in typical Kathy Griffin form she lashed out and hooked the guy up with a few comments. Of course media makes this the big news and if it wasn’t for the Gaza conflict this Kathy Griffin thing would have been 10x more blown out of proportion. A local paper that I have written about before called the TBT (it’s one of those try too hard to be trendy type of papers) and of course they had the big giant “Did she really say that!” In their Daily Dish section of the paper, this is where they usually bash Celebrities and try to come up with cute little names that they hope will stick.

In all honesty Im thrilled Kathy Griffin said what she wanted to say, screw the pickle kisser that sat there running his mouth at her. I have never been one to think that shit needed to be fair, fights needed to be fair, someone called you one name but you should control the name you call them, just to stay “fair”. Fuck fair, it was like that Micheal Richards shit. The fact remains Micheal Richards never would have called me any crazy ass names or said some racist shit to me if I were at one of his shows, and I can assure you Kathy Griffin also wouldn’t have been talkin about slappin any Dicks out of my mouth either. Why? Plain and simple, I wouldnt have been in those places acting like a fucking idiot. Start with someone and you should get what you deserve, no fair… If I call you an asshole and you choose to tell me I suck off Penn Station Bums for a living than so be it, I shouldn’t have called you an asshole. Congrats Kathy, nice work and a pretty bad ass line for spur of the moment New Years Eve on CNN shit.

What a better way to kick off the New Year than to kick it off with the best Indoor Tanning Special available anywhere in Florida. Call it a bold statement, call it what you want but regardless Extreme Tan and Smoothies has a lot to Celebrate and we want to Celebrate it with you our Loyal Customers. It’s 2009 and we have some of the best Tanning Specials we have ever done before, of course we brought back the One Month of Unlimited Tanning special for $10 but you need to ask about our Upgraded Tanning Bed Specials because there’s a few specials in there for $60 off the monthly price for Unlimited Tanning.

$10 Unlimited Month of Indoor Tanning

And in the event that any of our Copy cat competitors wanna be sly and try to come up with a better Special, keep in mind Extreme Tan and Smoothies will Match and beat ANY Local Competitors Price on like equipment. With more stores in the area to service your Indoor Tanning needs we have the ability to offer you the Highest Quality Tanning Experience at the Gauranteed Lowest prices.

Moving right along with my typical self I have now decided that I want a three column blog design instead of a two column blog design. As I get more and more addicted to blogging, and by addicted I mean constantly reading and commenting on others blogs and constantly looking at mine to see what I can do differently. Not the worst addiction in the world, I guess I could be addicted to sniffing glue or some silly shit like that.

Thanks to Shage and MS (RssBuilders) back in the day, I decided to transform my site from a basic html site to a Blog instead, now as I work on it more and more I see more things I want to add. “Who visited”, a “Chat Box” or “Highest Rated” and whatever other little things I can find to chuck my email address into and try on here. Problem Im finding now is that I feel like I need three columns.

Since Ive got my fair share of issues typically when I start to think about shit like this it stays on my mind until I just give in and make the change. This presents a few problems, first being that I just had this blog design done and as much as I didn’t like the original version of it, the new version that Lace did has grown on me. Let’s not forget that hiring an outside designer is pretty much a fuckin joke, we have yet to have any luck with an outside designer when it comes to doing Blog or normal site designs. This just compounds my problem because now I have two websites I want re-done with no solid outside designer to do it. Looks like the re-design of Extreme Tan and Smoothies will continue to wait and it looks like I will live with two columns for now and you will just have to scroll down further on the right to see what silly shit I add to the page.

Ok everyone loves a Stripper Pole and why not? Guys love it for the excitment it add’s to any event and girls love it because they get to explore that freaky side in public and it’s “Ok”, especially if you add in a drink or twenty. When we built Andre our Ford F-650 Stretch limo and decided to go with the Stripper Pole we figured we would do it for the fun of it, it’s in a truck and since Andre is not  Party Bus it’s a Party limo it wouldnt have the height you would think you would need for someone to be able to use a stripper pole or at least use it and make it fun.

Jamie makes it happen on The Stripper Pole

Im not a huge fan of the word Stripper and I don’t like saying the combo “Stripper Pole” either, not sure why but whatever thats what makes me, me. I also won’t call it  Dancer Pole unless Im on the phone with a potential customer. Maybe I should call it the huge bubble filled rod…. Maybe not.

Ashley and Jamie share the…. Oh well Stripper Pole

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We didn’t try to fill Andre up with a ton of people that night, it was more of a laid back thing where a few of us would take Andre over to Cafe 13 in Clearwater Florida and than at the last minute we decided to take it over to Green Iguana for the DJ Tiesto show. Mega Mix was there taking pictures and I will post more about that later as well, good times. As for Cafe 13, always the best of class there with excellent service and personal attention. Now as for Green Iguana I will say plain and simple what a cluster fuck… Ive never seen more people standing in one place that didn’t know what to do than I did that night, between the girls checking people in, the cashiers and whatever else. The biggest waste of space had to be the VIP Host (or at least thats what I think he was), that ass clown couldn’t manage a dozen eggs nevermind manage a club with 2,000 people in it and sell bottles and tables and whatever else.

Andre is a Beast even at night and the Mud Flaps say it all.. Except 727-584-8888

I will be posting another round from these pictures at which point I won’t be so lazy and I will add the picture album for 2009 which already has a fair amount of pics in it.

About a month ago Lace asked me to post some pictures of the car I got to replace my 2006 Mercedes SL55 AMG, and even though Lace has already seen it I figured I would post some pictures anyway. Im sure there are some of you wondering why I would get a car that looks somewhat like my previous car and there are others that will clearly see why. Fact of the matter is the Mercedes Sl63 AMG is the Best car I have ever driven in my life, I like black cars and well prior to the Mercedes SL63 the Mercedes SL55 was my favorite car. I ended up getting this towards the end of October when my Lease was up on my other Mercedes.

Here is the ass end of the 2009 Mercedes SL63 AMG

Rear Passenger Side view of th Mercedes SL 63

I plan on putting some shoes on it but im not in a big rush, I remember the constant tires I went through with the rims I had on my other SL and Im in no hurry to go back to replacing a tire every month.

Nothing beats a bunch of drunk girls and guys snapping countless pictures at an amazing New Years Eve Party, well a couple of things beat it but it sounded like a good start. I figured I would get these New Years Eve Party Pictures from the Silver and Black Party we had last year since after a ton of thought and consideration we decided not to do our Something Sexy Party or maybe we had some other name for it I don’t remember. Last years New years Eve Party was a blast but to be honest I just wasn’t feeling the overall destruction and trashing of my house, and I know for damn sure I didn’t feel like doing any babysitting this year. I have also been tossing around the idea of a Themed Superbowl Party this year and I know if we did the New Years Eve Party there would be no way I would even consider doing the Superbowl Party.

Tessa gives her final two gun salute of 2007

I can say I didnt miss the mayhem of last year’s party and not having one this year, but that would probably be a lie. Anyone that knows me knows I like to party and New Years Eve Parties are probably one of my favorite parties of them all, not to mention I like throwing themed parties. I will say I don’t miss the mess and I don’t miss the hangover I woke up with last year and I am sure there will be plenty in the future.

Lisa gets ready to pop a top

I needed some Pasties

Happy New Year Everyone, and thank you for helping the Extreme John Blog reach 100,000 views and a shit load of New Subscribers over the last year. Hopefully during your boring times of the day in 2009 you will remember to check back and see what Im yammering on about like a schoolgirl on rock candy. Not sure what the year brings, regardless I wish you a Happy New Year! And if this is your first time here Subscribe.

Now that the Holidays have quickly blown by, and much like the year 2008 has for me it’s time to move forward and get ready for the New Years Eve Party mayhem and celebration that wraps up the Holiday season. Every year in the past I use to write this long ass post and reflect on all of the things from the years past, people always seem to like it.  Problem is I just got done writing The Good, The Bad and The REAL Ugly review to close out the year and Im not sure I feel like getting into another million mile post.

I decided that instead of writing this really long ass boring year in review for 2008 in regards to my personal life I would just post a video blog,Im not big about the video blog or being on video so I abandoned that idea and here I sit ready to write, probably some boring ass thing.. Anyway here is my New Years Eve Blog for 2008 as we head into 2009 I wish you all a very Safe and Happy New Year and remember Don’t be an idiot, don’t drink and drive… Call Insane Limos instead. 727-584-8888

Ya know 2008 flew by and along with that might very well be the order of memories that should be drilled into my head from 2008. It was only a short year ago when Rage was all the Rage and the kid from Ohio along with some Sarcastic (Msacras) fuck did the building they promised with RSS Builders. Is was right around this same time that Extreme Tan and Smoothies took it’s very first step in a new and right direction, with true direction. As Rage continued to be all the Rage and the Original Extreme began to take steps in a Madonna like comeback direction it seemed 2008 was going to be a year of odd things to come back definitely good things to come. Life takes you down many different paths for many different reasons and Florida Honnies was one of those experiences, it took me down a path where I met good people like Topp and Goody, and got reacquainted with some good people like Lola (JB) that I hadn’t seen in forever. The experience also made me pay close attention and showed me just how fucking immature people can really be, and it’s usually the assholes that wanna scream about how mature they are.

As the year continued to fly by and life went on as usual I watched people continue to smile to my face and think “Fuck You” to my back. People I thought I knew, people I thought that had a clue and some people that I never thought that would be that way and very close to me. Im good with it though, I have always liked my ability to think and think well about things regardless of what the face value of the situation might be. I am very thankful for the ruthless, backstabbing, unappreciative, lieing, world owes me something, fake fux that have exposed themselves over the past year, it will have me on my toes in 2009. I also saw some people that are much like me, they will never change… And sometimes thats sad.

Who can forget the year of shitty service and customer service rants? I honestly could have updated my blog at least twice a day with something new to bitch about… But hey this is the new “Positive” me.. hahaha. This blog post is not about either of those things even though I do have a very personal message for a Business owner or two. First of all Terry I just want to say bro… Your an Asshole. Plain and simple, nothing to go crazy about but honestly I am a firm believer that all one REALLY has is their word. My word is everything, you claimed yours was too. Difference between me and you is you showed your word is nothing. Pretty sad, again from me to you I wish you luck in whatever it is that you do, I wish you much success in your business and whatever else it is that you do. But you are an Asshole.

To the crazy drunken fuck that has flown in to kick it at Parties at my house, parties at the Playboy Mansion, Parties in Hotel suites the size of Mansions in las Vegas and hot spots like Miami. I want to say your journey into my kitchen sink last year as you were tangled in a web you couldn’t get out of looks like it was a little foreshadowing of what was to come. I still search for articles on Google to see if there is any update on ya, I still check the massive Thread and response you commanded on that Hosting Forum… Over 50,000 views… Not bad fucker, it took me half a year to get that on here. I was pissed at ya for hanging me out to dry along with the other 6,000 people you hung out to dry but Im not anymore. I honestly dont know those 6,000 people and I got my shit out of dodge before it effected me. To you my friend I wish you luck, I hope the demons of your past don’t catch you in the future and I hope your doing everything you ever dreamed of. You helped me grow my business’s and you were there plenty of times when I needed it and I won’t forget that shit, regardless of where you might be in your life right now. If you ever get a chance shoot a brother a message and again good luck.

This is getting much longer than it probably needs to be so Im going to wind it all up here as quick as I can. Closing out 2008 I am beyond excited for what 2009 will hopefully bring, we have amazing things going on at Extreme Tan and Smoothies and of course we have Insane Limos which is just… Insane. I am excited about the job that Lisa, Michele and Nate have done through the last year to get Extreme Tan and Smoothies back on track and getting Insane Limos off the ground as fast as it has. I am excited about seeing how Lace along with his team can impact the web side of everything we do moving into 2009.

Special thanks to all of the great people I have come accross in the last year and those that helped with the so many projects we have going on. Usually I will sit here at the end of the year and write a long thank you list, name by name of each person or a shout out or whatever else. Im not in the mood for that this year and I honestly don’t have the time so I will say…. Those of you that know I would thank you, were real with me and appreciated that I was real with you, THANK YOU. Those of you that know I wouldn’t thank you, because you either back stabbed, lied, disrespected, shit on, didn’t appreciate, talked shit about, used or fucked with me, Go Fuck Yourself your clear I see right through you, so when your saying Fuck me, trust me Im saying fuck you too.

With that being said, Everyone have a Safe and Happy New Year and look for some New Years Eve Party pictures to be posted.

It’s now time for the final installment of my 2008 Business Reviews which I like to call “The Good, The Bad, The REAL Ugly“. This is the last post for the year which means it’s time for “The REAL Ugly”, I will be clear in saying just because I consider them the REAL Ugly certainly doesn’t mean that you will or have to. Just because I would never call any of the companies below for anything in the future does not mean you should not call them for your project. If you are looking for a company that I recommend than click here for my list of The Good.

THE REAL UGLY

A Sound Decision - 727-789-1121
Rightfully placed at number one I am not sure that another company I have ever dealt with in the past 37 years has been anything like this experience. As much as I would love to spend the next 2 hours writing my true feelings on this companies customer appreciation and customer service it’s not worth my time. Instead I will say, thank fucking god for the countless other companies out there that still care about customer service. If your looking for a QUALITY Audio/Video Company to start and complete your Home Theater Installation please feel free to write me or call me directly and I will get you setup with the right company to get your job DONE.

A Niks Outdoor Cooling - 813-224-0774
I have already written a review in regards to A Niks Outdor Cooling, bottom line here is that I can’t rate a company any higher than this when they don’t show up to their scheduled appointments, blow me off, screw up the install and promise to come back in a few days to check things and never do. I won’t be calling A Niks Outdoor Cooling Solutions for any of my outdoor needs.

Cornerstone Tree Farm - 352-588-2235
This company could have very easily been in the “Good” as well, they did a really nice job installing our landscaping for the front of our house. I ended up calling Cornerstone Tree Farm back to have them do some additional landscaping in the front, install new sod along the fence line in the back and do some landscaping with Palm Tree’s and whatever else out back. I called and left no less than five messages for the Sales guy there that designed our front yard, still to this day no return phone call. Thanks anyway Cornerstone but Gile Tree Service and Nice Green and Beautiful got us taken care of and for a lot less.

I am more than a fair person and in the event anyone listed on The Bad or The REAL Bad does something to change my opinion I will certainly be more than happy to do so. In closing I won’t make any big statements or change the world, all I will say is that Customer Service should always be the most important thing to any Small Business owner and sometimes in some cases as a Business owner you will have to meet some level of expectation, don’t be so surprised when a paying customer expects that from you.

Moving into 2009 I will raise a glass and hope to see an increase in customer service and a new found passion for Customer Service from all Business’s as everyone leans towards customer satisfaction to get the economy moving in a solid direction again.

I would say that your looking at it but that wouldn’t be totally true. You see the design your looking at isn’t actually the finished design, you might ask why it’s not the finished design so I will elaborate. The design you are looking at is the old version with the fat lips toon of me with no closing toon on the bottom of the design like there should be. I ended up getting to a point with the designer where I couldn’t be bothered waiting for the never ending story to come to an end so I decided to just request to have the shit sent to me and we would do something with it…. Just what I fuckin thought I would have to do when I paid in full for the design on October 15th.

You see, back on October 15, 2008 I contacted Zuzana Designs in regards to having the EJ Blog re-done, along with a couple of new EJ toons as well. Back when I spoke with Zuzana she was very clear in saying that it would take a few weeks before the toon designer would have my toons done because he had two toons in front of me. Here is the actual quote from the conversation “Do you need an invoice as well .. I have to pay the toonist up front and he has 2 toons ahead of you as well, so it may be a few weeks till the toon is ready“.

Now no big deal right, a few would be about three weeks before completion one would think. Now as I sit here and write on December 23rd I find myself trying to figure out how many “a few” is. I also find myself still looking for a new Blog design and a Designer to do it. Im not sure I will leave this up longer than today because it’s not complete as it sits and my OCD would make me snap and erase the site at some point. The complete version of this design would have had a version of my cartoon up top with SMALLER Lips, and another version of a toon down at the bottom that had EJ standing with a couple of cartoon girls and the Insane Limos Pink H2.

As a whole I like the overall design of the site, I would like it a hell of a lot more if it was complete, if a few weeks wasnt’ 2 1/2 fucking months, and the colors weren’t so chickish. Worst part of the entire thing was every time I referenced the design taking forever and questioning when it would be done, I would hear how I was told it would be a few weeks before the toon designer could start my design. Sorry but thats a piss poor excuse, since the statement actually was “so it may be a few weeks till the toon is ready“, ready being the key word… get it? good. The statement should have been, “It will be about a month and a half before he can START your toon so it may be like two months.” That would have been the correct statement and it would have been such a better situation simply based on the fact that I would have said ,”Nevermind” right than and there and hired someone else to do it. Anyone that knows me, knows I have zero patience.. It’s not like a make it a secret and it’s even more funny that in the initial conversation on October 15th after I heard it would be a few weeks my response was, “6:51:17 PM Extreme John: booooo
6:51:23 PM Extreme John: EJ hates weeks” pretty much makes it clear that I don’t feel like waiting fucking forever for shit to get done. In this case I will have to say, the overall toons have excellent detail to them (minus the dumb ass lips) and I can respect them as for the overall experience, and overall complete blog design I can’t say I will be using Zuzana Designs anytime soon. I will say that Zuzana did manage to release her long awaited Zuzana Version 3.0 during this time, congrats Zuzana glad to see your stuff got done and looks great.

Update December 25, 2008: I recieved the updated smaller lip cartoon you see below.
Update December 26, 2008: Lace puts new small lip EJ version up and add’s EJ/Limo to the footer (scroll down)
Update December 27, 2008: Lace changes site colors to what you see now, from purple.