No Soliciting Stupid

I am in one of my typical piss poor moods where nothing is going to make me happy, with that said there’s no better time to write about Soliciting than right now. I walked into the office today and much to my surprise the door decals that I ordered two months ago for the Insane Limos front door had finally been placed on the door. It is a simple logo at the top with the words “For Appointments or Reservations please Call 727-584-8888” and right under it in GIANT 4″ Bold letters it says “NO SOLICITING“, it is almost exact to the door right next to it that has the Extreme Tan and Smoothies logo and the words “NO SOLICITING” right under it, than just to the left of it is a huge window that also reads “NO SOLICITING”.

Let’s recap from above so that all of you know that you read what I wrote perfectly fine, not one NO SOLICITING sign, not two….. but THREE No Soliciting signs. Now for those of you that do not know what Soliciting is, in short it’s someone trying to sell something or announce something. Seems pretty simple doesn’t it? Well than why is it that every single day there are at least 5-10 different fuc*in morons that waltz through the front door of the main office and feel the need to try and Solicit their services, products or pitch? Better yet why is it that sales people that sell advertising don’t clearly understand that NO SOLICITING means walk to someone else’s door, someone else who doesn’t mind hearing your pitch. I am so beyond sick and fuc*in tired of every advertising company ignoring the front door and walking in to “Get 5 minutes”…. NO YOU CANNOT HAVE 5 FUC*ING MINUTES!!! Better yet, in today’s day and age with the internet if we were looking to advertise with their “Amazing Company” and their “Amazing offer” wouldn’t it be simple enough for me to find you?

It’s trully amazing how when one business puts up a Billboard or gets some radio advertising every single vulture with some kind of space to sell something is climbing all over your ass. Like it never dawned on them that maybe, just maybe we contacted those companies to get the advertising we have? There are a few people out there who take the time to read my blog before they come busting in the front door with hopes that it’s going to make me think they are buddy buddy with me, sorry morons I wasn’t born yesterday. I figured I would take this time to address any potential reader that is thinking about coming in tomorrow to try and sell me something this way there is no confussion about how I work with the advertisers I work with…. Walk in the front door without an appointment, and I will never use you. That seems pretty clear huh? I think I may have left room for error let me be sure, Walk in the front door and drop off a card, walk in the front door to say hi, walk in the front door period, as in once and we didn’t call you….. We won’t be using you, ever.

I hate to come accross like such a prick but call me Cinderella the prick shoe fits so this prick will have no problem wearing it. When I get to the office on a daily basis I already have a gameplan, which includes any and all meetings that I might want to have with any of the advertising outlets we use, I am a family guy with kids and after school crap so I like to be as effecient as possible, I also like to be there for my staff to answer questions they have without constant fuc*in interuptions from people I dont know that want to constantly shake my hand. I don’t like touching strangers hands because I watch too many people leave the pooper in public places and not wash thier nasty ass hands. My patience as you can tell for the random walk ins is getting thinner and thinner, the worst part about it is that out of all the various people that walk in selling all of the various forms of advertising, none of them are from any massive company or have a massive amount of exposure they are going to be able to offer you. I also think it is important for people to understand that just because we advertise on a Billboard or two it hardly means we want to advertise on a Table top…… Regardless of how “Amazing” you claim it is.

Sales Associates consider calling and making an appointment AHEAD OF TIME, it’s much more professional and you will certainly be taken more seriously when you try to present your product/service. If you try to call and make an appointment or don’t recieve a phone call back in regards to whatever it was that you were offering, take that as a kind “Not right now” and move on to the next order of business, don’t take that as a signal to walk in the front door and inform us that you tried to make an appointment and could not get through. We know, perhaps we are not interested, perhaps it IS right in the middle of season and making small talk with you right now doesn’t fit into the mix either. And last but not least, don’t try talking us into your advertising that shit is more annoying than anything if I had a question about it I would ask, if I felt it was right for us I would go with it and if I thought it was great enough trust me I would fall over trying to get in touch with you.

Tagged as: advertising, Business, soliciting